Real
by Greg'sgirl5
Summary: A Klaine oneshot addressing Blaine's struggles and emotions during Cough Syrup. Spoilers for On My Way! Post regionals and hospital scene, pre wedding and car crash.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination._

**Real**

When Blaine finished singing Cough Syrup, he looked ready to collapse. His knees wobbled and he closed his eyes, putting his weight on the microphone stand.

Kurt knew something wasn't right. In fact, he'd known for weeks. Maybe months.

Blaine was an enigma. He never talked about his troubles. Instead he continued to be dapper and cheery, even during the worst times. He was there for everyone else, playing therapist when needed. He preached about courage, and the importance of being there for each other. But he never spoke a word of his problems. The only time you saw, really saw, what was inside, was when he sang. When Blaine sang, his face screwed up in pain. His eyes looked far into the distance, and Kurt was sure memories flashed by.

And now, he knew that those lyrics...that message, had hit far too close to home for Blaine to be okay.

Before Kurt could find the right words, he heard a small whimper escape Blaine. He studied him carefully, and he saw tears fall and splatter onto the stage.

"Oh Blaine..." He nearly choked, and hurried to where he was standing.

Wrapping him in his arms, he whispered words of comfort into Blaine's ear. He shook within his arms, his hands grasping at Kurt's shirt.

That self control he used every day...it had vanished.

"Blaine, talk to me sweetie." Kurt begged, wanting more than anything for Blaine just to let those walls fall.

Blaine continued to cry, but shook his head against Kurt's neck.

"I can't." Blaine cried into his shirt. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

Kurt was going to argue. Going to collapse them onto that damn stage floor and make him talk.

But that's when Mr Shue found them, and made them follow him to where the Glee club was gathered. That's when he learned about Karofsky.

Three days later, Kurt was at his wits end. His emotions were stretched thin, and his eyes dry of all tears. He'd just returned from the hospital after visiting David.

He hadn't talked to Blaine, really talked to him, since the incident on stage. At first it had been a matter of inconvenience. Every time he wanted to talk, he couldn't because something new happened. Then the guilt hit. Karofsky attempting his suicide was Kurt's fault. He hadn't answered those stupid phone calls. He hadn't been nice enough. He hadn't been there. Hadn't, hadn't, _hadn't_. So then the issue went from inconvenience, to avoidance. What if he wasn't enough for his boyfriend? What if it made it worse? What if? Then the issue became about not wanting to ruin the happiness that followed their win at nationals. Blaine was smiling. Not the fake dapper smile he plastered on every day; the real kind. But now, after visiting Karofsky, and making him so much better, he knew he had to talk to his boyfriend. He'd helped David. He could help Blaine.

So he knocked on the door of Blaine's math class, figuring now would be a good of time as ever. Blaine was a whiz in math, and the only reason he hadn't moved ahead to a higher level, was out of pure modesty.

The teacher swung the door open, offering a brief smile. "How can I help you?"

"Um, I need to borrow Blaine Anderson for a minute. If that's alright. It's about a Glee thing." He lied smoothly, putting on an apologetic expression.

"Yes, of course." The teacher said with a smile, and she walked back into the class. "Blaine, your boyfriend wants you."

Kurt froze. He knew damn well that he shouldn't have, but what if bullying started because of the comment?

Luckily, he saw Blaine brush it off, grabbing his bag with a blush, and stood up, nearly knocking over his chair.

"Have fun on your booty-call Anderson!" Someone shouted, and the class broke out in laughter.

"At least he has one." Kurt said with a grin, and Blaine shot him a thankful smile as they both went into the hallway.

The door shut behind them, and the _Ooohhh_s disappeared.

"So, this is about Glee?" Blaine asked, slinging his bag more precisely onto his shoulder. Kurt took his hand, leading him towards the auditorium.

"No." Kurt admitted, and looked back with a worried smile.

"Um...Kurt really, what the heck is going on?" Blaine asked, when he pulled them into the auditorium.

The lights were dim as they walked up the stairs, and Kurt risked squeezing Blaine's hand. The memory of Blaine crying, no, sobbing, was burned into his memory. He sat on the stage floor, and pulled Blaine down with him.

He scooted close enough that their knees touched; both of them sitting cross legged out of habit.

"We need to talk." Kurt said, but saw that Blaine recoiled, confusion on his face.

"What?" He asked, worry in his voice.

"Oh, god no, honey we're not breaking up or anything. We are _never _breaking up. I phrased it wrong. _You_ need to talk. Talk to me. About earlier, when you sang Cough Syrup. About when you sing, period." Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's two hands within his.

"I can't." Blaine deflected quickly.

"Why? Why can't you? You need to talk to me. Or someone, at least." He said desperately.

Blaine looked away.

"Believe me, if I could talk to anyone, it would be you. But I can't." Blaine said, his voice becoming thick. His eyes were staring into the empty seats, but it looked like he was watching a movie.

"Don't do that." Kurt nearly scolded. Blaine's head whipped up.

"Do what?"

"I know what you're doing. You do that when you sing. You lose yourself in memories. And by the look on your face almost all the time, they're not good ones. You have to talk to me. You have to." Kurt nearly begged, pulling one hand away from Blaine's to wipe at his own eyes with his sleeve.

"I...I can't talk about it. I've never ever talked about it." Blaine admitted. "I'm sorry." He added, as if somehow that would change it.

"Why? Please, just...tell me why." Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's hand again.

"Because...because if I talk about then...that makes it real." Blaine finally admitted, and he began to cry. Not fully fledged, like before, but it was a start.

"Honey...Blaine, it _is _real. Whatever it is...look, when you sing, you open yourself up. When you broke down the other day...that emotion, those feelings, that was as real as it gets. You have to talk about this. Whatever is hurting you, I want to help you. I _need _to help you." Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's head.

He forced Blaine to look at him, forced him to see. See that he cared. That he wanted to be there. That he couldn't live with himself if he wasn't.

"Why?" Blaine asked in a choked whisper. It was a last defence. The beginning of a crack in the wall. Kurt could see it plain as day.

"You can't leave me. Karofsky tried to _kill _himself, because he didn't talk to anyone. Because he couldn't. Because I...because I didn't pick up the fucking phone." Kurt cried, and lost it. He tried to hold back a sob. "I'll always feel guilty for that. And I can't let myself make the same mistakes with you."

"I'm not...I would never..."

"I don't care Blaine. You're hurting and I need to help you. Please let me. It's okay to open up. It's okay to need help and to accept it. When I met you, I needed help. You gave me it. Please, please let me do the same." He begged.

He looked into Blaine's eyes. His brown orbs were watery and deep. And finally, _finally_, as easy to read as when he sang. Kurt could actually see the walls crumble. Not quickly, and with struggle, but they did indeed crumble.

Blaine started to cry. Gut wrenching sobs. Kurt repositioned in order to hold him in his arms. He once again clutched on Kurt's shirt, as if it were the only thing holding him there. Kurt just thanked everything that he was still there at all.

"Please talk. Just talk. It'll be fine, just talk. It's easier than you think, I promise." He soothed him, rubbing circles on his shaking back.

"Courage." Kurt added.

"It's my family." Blaine finally stuttered out.

"What about them?" Kurt asked, still holding him as tightly as he could.

"They hate me." Blaine cried. "They absolutely h-hate me. I try...god I try to be normal. I try so hard, but to them I'm still unnatural. I'm still an abomination. And I should hate myself. I should feel like Karofsky did, but I don't. Because I h-have you. And I love you and you l-love me and so I can't h-hate myself. But that doesn't mean they d-don't try and make m-me."

He broke down again, and Kurt began to rock them back and forth, keeping a steady motion.

"That is not a bad thing Blaine, you should never hate yourself. That's how you end up like David and I never, ever want you getting that far." Kurt said, his own eyes streaming.

"I know. I fucking know that. But to them I'm still a disappointment. And n-now my brother is c-coming to town, and he still...still doesn't know. What if they tell him and he h-hates me? He's the only o-one who doesn't treat me l-like...like I'm an it." Blaine admitted, and curled further into Kurt.

"An it?" Kurt asked, out of pure shock.

"Like I'm not a person." Blaine cried.

That was it. That was all it took for Kurt to absolutely lose it. Blaine was being treated like an animal in his own home. Every damn day he heard slurs and insults, and it wore on him. It showed but before now Kurt had never put the pieces together. Now he knew just how dark Blaine's life had gotten. Just how scary, and just how tedious.

And now Kurt felt stupid for having problems at all because god, Blaine's life was so much worse.

"That's it." Kurt growled, standing up. He saw Blaine look at him in confusion through his tears. He just pulled him up too.

"Where are we going?" Blaine asked, as innocent as a child.

A child.

Suddenly Kurt could picture Blaine as a boy, just 12 or 13, coming out to his parents. And being rejected. Rejected so, so badly. Having them tell him that he was wrong. Maybe, like David's mom, they'd told him he had a disease. And ever since then they'd treated him as a less than. As a partial. As an..._it. _

Kurt stifled a sob. He pulled Blaine close, hugging him tighter than he ever had before. He felt Blaine clutch back, and both of them shook with cries. All it took was the ugly truth, and both were now farther apart, yet closer than ever.

Kurt pulled away enough to press a kiss to Blaine's lips. A kiss tender enough to be gentle and reassuring, while strong enough to give love and hopefully hope itself. Blaine's tears mixed with Kurt's in a twist of salty water, but neither moved.

Neither _cared._

When Kurt did pull away, he was determined. "We're going home. My home. And you're staying there. As long as you need to. We're going to sort things out, and you're going to be happy. We'll make popcorn, and watch scary movies. Then we'll cuddle up and fall asleep together like we will when we're married. You're going to be happy tonight Blaine. No more faking it. No more dapper, cheerful act. You're either happy or you're not, okay?"

Blaine stared at him in awe. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and Kurt smiled nervously.

"Okay. Yeah...okay. That sounds...happy." Blaine finally said, his eyes alight with (dare Kurt believe it?) hope.

"Let's go hon." Kurt grinned, pulling a still crying Blaine behind him.

"What about school?" Blaine asked, innocent as ever.

"Screw school." Kurt said simply, when they reached his locker, and Kurt helped Blaine pack up what he needed.

"What about my parents?" Blaine asked as they walked to Kurt's locker. He suddenly froze on the spot.

"Screw your parents." Kurt shrugged, nearly having to drag his boyfriend down the hall.

"But they-"

Kurt spun around.

"I'm going to tell you exactly what I told David in the hospital," He checked his watch, "an hour ago. If people don't care about your feelings, they don't care about you. And if they don't care about you? Screw them. They're not worth it."

"I...Kurt..." Blaine muttered, staring at his feet. His eyes grew distant.

"Hey, no. I told you to stop doing that. Back to the present, mister." Kurt snapped his fingers. Blaine did as he was told.

"Sorry." Blaine said, his voice catching.

"Oh, no. No, you never need to apologise. Ever, ever. You hear me Blainers?" Kurt said, chuckling at his use of Brittany's nickname for his boyfriend.

Blaine let out a small laugh.

"I'm so...so fucking glad I have you." Blaine admitted, going soft again.

"I'll always be here. Let's go watch some movies, eh?" Kurt offered, both of them walking to his locker.

Once he'd packed up, they walked out the doors of the school, leaving worries behind for the day.

"Can we watch a vampire movie?" Blaine asked, and Kurt turned to see him acting like he did during regionals, hands making ridiculous claws.

"Oh god," Kurt groaned as they climbed into his car. "don't make me regret this."

"Never."


End file.
